The Pillars of Doom; A Montana Rendezvous and Meeting Mountain Man Marty

Deserving of their name, we were soon faced with these pinnacles. They were about thirty feet high and two feet wide on top and became wider on down to the bottom, but we couldn’t cross below. We had to cross where they were just a couple feet across. We’re on the top of the mountain looking down on thousands of feet and what could be our last view. And this isn’t a trail—not a well-traveled area with proven success in crossing. It was a free climb, and it was fucking exhilarating. 

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Nowhere and Back in a Day’s Time

With a little pep in my step (or what my partner would classify as agitation), I went to the nearest open United desk and was pleasant as pie as I greeted a few real sweet ladies who instructed me to head to the help desk. I was greeted at desk number three: “Hello, how are you?” “I’m doing well! I mean, considering…” “Considering you’re at the airport? I hear ya…” I was going to say, ‘Considering that my flight was canceled,’ but this person gets it; she has to work here. I wanted to reply with ‘Transferred from the DMV, did ya?’

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Half Dome; A 16-mile Hike, a Blown Radiator, and a Vibrator in a Shopping Bag

Two big and wonderful things happened on June 25th, 2015. The first was scoring a first-come first-serve campsite at Camp 4 in Yosemite. The second was the real icing; while waiting in line for camping, I checked my email (since I now enthusiastically had service) and voila! A notification confirming that I had won the daily lottery to hike Half Dome the next day.

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The Dirtbag Chronicles; Epically Aussie in Tassie

It had already been what I coined an epically “Aussie” day. It started at an animal sanctuary in Hobart, Tasmania, where a six foot kangaroo nearly de-pantsed me while I was “commando” (not wearing underwear). I turned around to see two other kangaroos having sex.

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Deserting The Life I Knew; A Plot to Travel

Prior to being partially de-pantsed by a kangaroo (while commando) or fleeing fist-sized spiders in Tasmania, I fought long work weeks. At one point, my most significant daily inconvenience was pushing through rush hour traffic in Chicago, Milwaukee, or Madison. Fast forward a month and inconvenience looked like me running down a trail in Glacier National Park as some sort of Condor or Vulture swooped at me with what must have been a six-foot wingspan. There I was, blowing a whistle and waving a stick in the air for “protection” like an imbecile. I was very new at outdoor living.

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