Definitive Statements
I said there’d never be another like you,
I also once said that to a perfectly ripe avocado.
Disappearing Face
Subtle, like the first few drops of rain
And the uncertainty that follows
You were mysterious, I pondered
A creature I yearned for narration
Then, you lingered…
An exhale on a cold night
The line of coffee, in a dry mug
Next, you shed
Slipping from my grasp
Unnoticed
A penny from a pocket
Near the end, I was not searching for you
Yet now I cannot find you
I call you
Disappearing Face.
REM
The loneliness I feel now
Is not what I have felt
In the shadow of undesired solitude
The loneliness I feel now
Is an evening stripped of dreams
Repeated every night
Because my mind shows compassion
For my heart which cannot bare it
But my dear,
It is an evening stripped of dreams.
Embracing Sandstone
Someday, when I am given back to the earth
Released over a nostalgic abyss of red dirt
It will be just me, myself
Alone in the warm desert winds
If nothing else, it is for this reason
That I will live content with my decisions
And find peace in my own approval
So if my decisions do not please ya darlin,
Let me remind you…
Your eternity is to be spent elsewhere.
Good Terms
You send your peace
As if fortuitous
The mundane
Filler
To keep me just close enough
In case you decide to have me again…
Do not tell me
The view from your corner
Tell me why
You are not here in mine.
Gift Wrap
I have fallen in love
Mountains, skylines and glistening black sand
The look of my red dirt stained flesh
The sharpness of glacial lakes on bare skin
A pacific tide inching towards my toes
An abyss of desert
Endless, towering tree lines
Dashed pavement progressing onward
I have fallen in love without need
You ask, what can he offer?
What can she do for me?
Materializing. Suffocating.
Filling your boxes
I have fallen in love without approval
Without your council
Your reassurance
I am in love with landscape
I have fallen in love with my solitude.
Classy as Fuck
Saline floods. Kleenex cluster
I won’t write a pretty poem
I can’t believe you fucked her.
Hello, Goodbye.
I leave pieces of my heart
In the mountains, on their valley floors
Under the stars and above the sand
In the hue of flames among the heat of open fires
Flesh on flesh, flesh upon earth
A cast of night
For every hello, a story
Of nature, of transparency
The soul
Tales of glowing skin and red dirt
Sandstone and grit
I leave pieces of my heart
All along this alluring space
And with every goodbye, I wonder
How many more
The road
It doesn’t end
Hello
Goodbye.
Prudence
When you use the word ‘doubt’
I can hear the shame in your voice
But I would rather you disappoint me now
Than let this version of you surface even later
Maybe I could have loved you forever
But now I know not to.
24 Little Hours
Yesterday, you said I love you
Today, you confessed
While I pull an infinite cord
Tugging my heart back into place
I think, what’s that old tune?
Mother always said…
‘What a difference a day makes.’
Snakeskin
My love for you sheds
It builds behind my eyes and rests above my cheeks
Trickles down my flesh and sheaths it in a brine
When a pool has gathered at my feet
I will be rid of you.
Sex on a Crash pad
The night we first made love
We had wept together of your Father’s passing
Embraced in the moon’s brilliance
Under those glistening balls of fire, atop red dirt
We found ourselves in each other’s grasp
And I thought that I would miss you
Whenever the time came
That you were no longer there.
Time time time
You silly little mongrel
How you relax me when you’re plentiful
Or bring me angst when in short supply
I cannot slow your pace to meet my needs
Nor sprint to get through the madness
I would not want to, I suppose
I would not appreciate you then
I need you now more than ever
To decide how to proceed, to heal
Every living organism, every beating heart
Needs you as you are.
The Boy Who Cried
The words you speak I’ve seen before
I have read them in your handwriting
Revisited over and over
A different time and context, some time ago
Today, I read your words from then,
Tonight those words echoed, lingered in your breath
A different time and context, some time ago
How grave that seemed, until now
The words you speak I’ve seen before
I have read them in your handwriting
The only wolf in sight is you.
53 Days
You stayed the night, just holding me
I noted the absence of toxic thoughts
While your mind filled with nothing but
The sun has rested once again
And now my pillow smells of you
The familiar association with love
I lay here inhaling your scent
While my tears wash you away.
Australia
“Come to a foreign land with me,” she grinned
Silence.
“I would be so happy,” his eyes met hers
“To travel the world, while falling in love with you.”
About my poetry
Several of these pieces were written between 2015 and 2016, those years were filled with self discovery, companionship and love. They were also filled with more solitude and adventure than I had ever known. You’ll be able to dig into those chronicles soon.
Many of the poems posted here were also written in 2018, after an infidelity, a breakup, an international relocation and a Lyme disease diagnosis all occurred within a month (big year).
In more recent times, I wrote poetry about a loved one I lost to suicide. Those aren’t featured here at this time. For now, you can start reading about that experience here.
© Molly J. Halfman, LLC